With my kids home from school for TEN days over Spring Break this past week, not much in the way of work was accomplished. I took my newfound freedom (after quitting one of my contract jobs) and enjoyed a much-needed break away from the computer. So what did I do instead?
I spent time with my kids.
We took advantage of the unseasonably-warm April temperatures and played outside. We watched movies together, cranked up the music and jumped on the furniture, planted seeds indoors, took naps, read, and generally lazed about.
And it was wonderful!
I am truly grateful to be at a point in my life and career where I can dictate how and when I work. My kids have always been, and they continue to be, my first priority. Although my two older children are in elementary school, I still have one (soon to be three) at home almost 24/7. For all intents and purposes, I am their primary caregiver.
This does not make me a martyr, nor do I sit at my desk and regret that I ever had three children or wish them to be someplace other than literally clinging to my back like little monkey babies. No, I made my decision years ago that I would be a stay-at-home mom and forgo a career while my kids were young.
The funny thing is, though, I never dreamed that I could work from home. I simply didn't realize it was a possibility. I fell into writing by chance and, even though there are days when I would love to shut myself away from 9-5 and assume normal office hours, it's just not possible. So for now, the work I do is secondary to what I consider my real job, which is being a wife and mother. *I should state that I do not judge what other women decide to do. This is my choice, and it's what makes me happy.*
Tamara Berry of Freelance Parent recently wrote an article entitled, Whatever Happened to Taking Your Time to Make a Decision? In her article, Tamara talks about the blurred lines between work and home in the life of a freelancer. We seem to be plugged in at all hours of the day, tethered to our computers and telephones and at the mercy of our clients. After all, don't they pay us to be available?
Tamara, like many work-from-home parents, has to juggle the responsibilities of work and parenthood. When your children are in school for six hours a day, there's more of a clear distinction between work and home (although, in my opinion, it's slight). But when you have a baby or toddler at home, you have to work around their schedule. Some clients may understand this, but many won't.
Personally, I have made the conscious decision not to take on a lot of jobs for others, at least not for the next two years until my youngest begins school full time. In the short run, this means that we are basically a one-income family. That's okay, though; we've managed for nearly a decade. I pick up a few jobs when I can and make work for myself, too. Because I am not working against another's deadline, I have more time to devote to print publication and writing about the things that interest me.
So does this mean that my writing is more of a hobby? Or is my work simply a slow-paced career? I have a print article due out in a local paper at the end of the month and an ad I wrote for a client is due to be published in June's issue of a national parenting magazine. I'm also negotiating a permanent contract with the same client to write a few articles each month and handle their email newsletter. Other than that, I am working on Root and Sprout (scheduled to launch June 1st).
At the end of Tamara's article, James Chartrand, who writes for Men with Pens, made a few interesting comments. Go read them.
My first reaction was, Well of course he doesn't understand how Tamara feels; he's not a working mother!
To be honest and fair, I know nothing of James. I've never even read his blog before. My reaction was from the gut and not formed intelligently in the least (so James, if you read this, take no offense). Perhaps James does have one or more children underfoot while he works from home. Perhaps he does feel obligated to keep a clean house, do a few loads of laundry, and help with homework in addition to serving his clients each day. Like I said, I don't know.
But does the fact that I work from my bedroom amidst a pile of toys, sometimes with my kids sitting on the floor next to me rolling around like animals or jumping on the bed, make my writing just a hobby? Because I am picky about for whom and under what terms I take on new projects, does that mean that I am not serious about what I do? On the contrary. For me, it reaffirms that I know exactly where my priorities need to be during the next few years.
James did make an excellent point in that because Tamara and her partner, Lorna, market themselves as a business, they should conduct themselves as such (which I have every confidence they do!). And maybe the distinction between "business person" and "freelancer" is that one has more constraints than the other.
But there's the rub. How can anyone conducting business from home while trying to care for a child(ren) possibly do it all? It's no secret that women who work outside the home still bear the brunt of domestic chores as well, and it's the same for those women who work from home. I wonder if work-from-home dads have an easier time of it? Despite every article that advises you on how to work from home, how can you ignore the smelly garbage sitting in the kitchen or the dog who needs to go on a walk just because it's not part of business? You can't. And you definitely can't ignore your children.
All Tamara was saying is that she wanted to enjoy one afternoon of playing outside with her daughter without having to answer a client's email straight away. There are some things that are just too important to be missed.
